When we encounter love, we experience one of the most beautiful periods of our lives; it is often one of the main goals, or the primary purpose, that we carry in our hearts.
A couple’s relationship (aimed at personal growth) is a relationship of choice and an equal partnership between two adults. Here, both individuals have equal rights and duties, equal dignity, and equal responsibility. Therefore, there is no imbalance like that between a parent who gives and a child who receives; instead, an equilibrium between giving and taking is created between the partners.
The foundation for a healthy relationship is the acceptance and respect of each other’s diversity (such as role, personality, gender, origin…). On these foundations, a “healthy” relationship can be built.
But when we encounter love, we are not only in a relationship with the man or the woman, but also with their family system (the clan, the family of origin). They, too, are different, but often they are not accepted or respected.
Balance is found by letting go of some values from the family of origin, incorporating some values from the other’s family, and creating new values together with the partner in the new family.
In Family Constellations, when working on couple relationships, families of origin often come into play. Before being part of a couple, we are all children of parents to whom we are deeply connected. This bond creates loyalties that manifest as “entanglements.”
However, when love ends and children are involved, we often carry a lot of pain or inflict it, more or less unconsciously. Children often feel hindered and forced to choose between one parent. In doing so, out of love, they take the place of the parent (father or mother) who has left, thus creating disorder in the system.
Through Family Constellations, the knots we take on out of love are untied. Only in this way can we begin to live a life of which we are the sole creators and responsible for our choices.